Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tiki Fountain

I have a Tiki Fountain at work. Experts say the sound of water has a calming effect on most people.

I say I need more water....

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Monday, December 29, 2008

De Donde Eres?

I had discovered this podcast one day called "
Coffe Break Espanol." It was a podcast that was created to aid one in learning Spanish. i thought I would try it out and I found it to9 be quite simple. I can now ask you how you are (Que tal?) and how is the weather (Que tal el tiempo?) and where are you from (e donde eres?) all in Espanol.

That's not to say that this is easy. In fact it's quite difficult. When trying to translate into Spanish my thoughts sift through 2-3 languages. You would be surprised at the phrases you remember in various languages when trying to think of a particular phrase in a 4th language.


This is what I get for being so adamant that I will not learn Spanish.

What am I doing?

Sitting here trying to learn Spanish.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Flowers at Work

This is the Poinsettias Megan gave me =)

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Monday, December 22, 2008

Reading Suggestions

It has been several weeks since I finished The Society of S and since then I have not really been reading. I firmly believe that my literary diet is in direct proportion to my writing creativity. As such my creativity of the moment is zero.

Any reading suggestions are welcomed.



My 2008 Favourite Christmas Moment...(thus far)

It's been a very stressful year, not just for me, but for everyone as Wall Street saw stocks tumble, prestigious banking institutions crumble and pink slips were handed out like free tickets to some crummy comedy show that now one wanted to see.

This has affected people in different ways. For me, I was so caught up in just dealing with life that I did not even realize that my favourite season had arrived. My last entry went on about how I've felt this Christmas, so I will not repeat myself. However, this weekend as I battled the crowds, whined about the cold, and just overall behaved the way a modern day multi-racial Scrooge would, I suddenly remembered a moment at Friday's Christmas party that not only made me smile, but kicked me into a more jovial mindset.

Last Friday was quite possibly one of the hardest days of work that I have had in a long time. Amidst the looming deadlines and demands, a group of us participated in a gift exchange. I had planned a particular gift for my Secret Santa (a Beatles Monopoly game), but I found they were out at the Barnes and Noble. As such I had tried to figure out a good gift for this individual. I really did not know him that well. There was an instance where we got into a long conversation about the Walrus, a song by The Beatles. So, I knew that he was a Beatles fan. While searching the music section of books, I found a huge book wrapped in cellophane entitled The Beatles Anthology. Supposedly, it was a book about The Beatles by The Beatles. I found the price, purchased the book and had it gift wrapped, all the while feeling a sense of apprehension about what I had purchased.

At the gift exchange I was really rushed. I was in between meetings and a training session I was running, all the while dealing with some extremely difficult clients. Once the gifts were all distributed, everyone tore into their gifts. Before even opening the bag I had in front of me, I glanced at my gift recipient with worry. However, the moment he got a portion of the wrapping paper off the gift his jaw dropped. He was so happy with the gift and I felt a burden being lifted from me.

Immediately following the gift exchange, I returned to the front lines once again as I was bombarded by calls, email, and other forms of correspondence. Every person wanted something and they wanted it 5 minutes ago, and I fell for it all, forgetting that magical moment that was bestowed upon me not so long ago.

Fast forward back to my weekend of shopping and moping and that memory came back to me of the gift exchange. It just reminded me of how great it feels to be able to give and to think of others, not only at Christmas but anytime. There have been many gifts given to me throughout the years, some good and some bad. The greatest being that of my wonderful Saviour for whom this holiday I celebrate. That moment during the gift exchange reminded me that I should be sure not to let life get in the way of...well life. I have been blessed in so many ways and through so many people. I just hope that I could be a blessing to others as well.

This was my favourite Christmas memory of the year....thus far.


Friday, December 19, 2008

My Netbook

Yes, it is 2:23am and I am writing a blog entry. This may not seem unusual as I have written blogs even later than this in the past. However, those entries are usually signed with my cell signature. So, this is the latest that I have written a blog while on my own and not on my phone.

The reason? My shiny new Acer Aspire One Netbook. On Monday I had walked by a Radio Shack on my way to Starbucks and I noticed a sign that had a laptop. Reading the fine print, I found out that one must sign up for the AT&T wireless internet service agreement. That was not such a bad thing for me as I had been considering getting the wireless internet for sometime. After several days of debating, research and attempts to fix my laptop, I decided to go ahead with this purchase.

Now here I am in the wee hours of the morning, composing this entry in the cold of my room. 'So far I must say I love the portability (it fits in my purse) and the internet capability. However, the keys are taking some getting use to.

I'll give a more thorough review at a more decent hour.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Feels Like Christmas

Oh Christmas Tree
Originally uploaded by mang maning
Christmas in southern California can be completely unpredictable. Some years it is windy but overall decent weather, then there are some years where the sun is shining and it feels like beach weather. However, this year is slightly different.

This week has seen an alternating pattern between rain and no rain. Yesterday, was one of the worse days as cold rain poured and strong winds made the temperature feel lower than the readings on the thermometer. Since I have been putting off my Christmas shopping, I spent yesterday out an about in the rain. There were a couple of things that I was able to cross of my list. However, I still have a little ways to go.

Although I still find it hard to believe that Christmas is actually less than a week away, I have to admit the cold does make the season more Christmas like. I just wish I had gotten more into the holiday spirit. Its just with so much going on in my life, I feel like it all gets in the way of the joy and love I always cherished during this holiday.

I still have a week. Here's hoping it gets better.


Monday, December 15, 2008

White Gown

Wedding Dress
Originally uploaded by JASON.GROVER

i dreamed of a white gown last night

layers of satin and silk and lace
you had this smile upon your face
did i tell mention that you were there?
or that i was feeling very scared?

i dreamed of a white gown last night

a veil hung before my eyes
there would be no need to improvise
as it all had been rehearsed
a kiss from you would end the curse

i dreamed of a white gown last night

boquets of roses very red
long gone all feelings of dread
filled with feelings of love instead
awaken the romantic once thought dead

i dreamed of a white gown last night


Friday, December 12, 2008

Inspiration: Rather, The Lack Thereof

Originally uploaded by h.koppdelaney
I have spent several days staring at blank pages, blinking cursors, and QWERTY boards in desperation. Nothing comes to me. I look around at the Christmas decorations, tune in to the carols on the radio, and overall search for some beacon of ligtht. Something, anything that will have me going.

Yet, there is nothing.

There was a brief spurt of creativity that resulted in a short poem on Sunday night, brought on by a bought of heartache. However, as quickly as it came, it was gone.

Again nothing.

It really is starting to get to me. This lack of energy, ability. Now at the point where I feel really drained. So I'm searching online for stanzas of the great. Neruda, and the like.

Still nothing.

Doubt creeps in and I get to the point where I really don't even know if I want to continue writing. This block seems so immovable, as even music stirs no type of inspiration for me at this point.



Monday, December 8, 2008

Here We Go Again

Another round of uncertainty and doubt as the director spearheads another round of layoffs.

We're called into a meeting to "discuss some things that are going on in the department." However, some of these things are already very evident as we see another co-worker pack up his box. Really?? They couldn't wait and do this after the holidays? I mean 2 more weeks was too long to wait.

Then there’s the other office that’s being completely shut down. I cannot even begin to imagine what all of those people are going through as they discover that they will all be without work.

HR tried to assuage our fears that we will be the next to go. However, we've heard this all before. We've actually heard this on 4 separate occasions and after each time there was another round of layoffs.

I've been told to be grateful that I still have a job, and I am grateful. Yet, I can't help but sympathize for the other artists.


Oh Sleep

oh, blessed sleep please come to me
and keep me from the rain
please bring me a reprieve from reality
and numb me to the pain

oh dreamless sleep descend on me
and hide me from my tears
envelope my mind just as the divine
and chase away these fears

oh elusive sleep grab hold of me
and take me from this world
stow me away from today
dont hide from this shaken girl

oh merciful sleep converse with me
just as you've done before
as fragmented thoughts continue to haunt
please bring me peace once more

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Take 2 of the Black Jack II

In the summertime, I decided that it was beyond time for me to upgrade my phone from the Black Jack to something else. After some price and product comparisons I decided to go ahead with the Black Jack II.

Fast forward several months later and I started noticing that sounds on my phone were weird. There were certain alerts that would no longer sound. What threw me over the edge was when I discovered that my media player will play my music, but no sound could be heard.

I called AT&T and spoke with a regular customer service rep, an AT&T technician, and a Samsung tech. After checking a few things Samsung decided that the phone had some type of internal defect and AT&T offerred to send me a replacement phone free of charge (well except the $12 I have to pay for expedited shipping.)

So now I am writing out all my contacts, having already transferred all other files to my SD card. Shortly, I will begin texting from my new Black Jack II.

This is Take 2.


Sunday, November 30, 2008

Islands III

This is what I got as a to go container after I complained.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Islands II

This is what they gave me as a to go container.

~Posted From My Black Jack II


This is what I wanted to take to go.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Friday, November 28, 2008

12:01am : The Day After Thanksgiving

Most people up right now are waiting for Black Friday shopping. However, I am on my way back home because I have to work in 8 hours.

Dinner was nice. Having all the family, all the food, the conversation. It was pretty cool. I thank God for the day and for all that I have. Even the fact that I have a job to go to tomorrow, or rather later today. There are some who wish they could have that.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving as much as I did. So now I will sit back and watch the freeway fly around me (no traffic) and continue to IM with Kat until I'm home.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Thursday, November 27, 2008

On My Way to Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving Dinner is usually held at my parents' house in sunny San Diego. Its a dinner with my immediate family and whoever feels like stopping by. However, this year several members of my extended family asked my mom to host a large Thanksgiving where hatchets and grudges would be buried and forgotten to allow for a peaceful family dinner. The idea of a large Thanksgiving dinner is not bad. Athough, I must admit not everyone will be there, that I had hoped would be there, but I've accepted that fact. Now there are only 2 things that are stressing me out.

The first is the unusally large amount of cars on the freeway. I mean the traffic is horrendous. The attached picture does not even begin to showcase the intensity of traffic I'm currently sitting through. The second is the fact that I'm having to come back to Long Beach tonight so that I can be at work tomorrow. Sure, they made it a just for fun Friday so that we can wear jeans, but that's the very least that they can do. With so may franchisees deadlining Monday, it doesn't even look like I will be leaving early.

In any case, this describes my Thanksgiving thus far: Sitting in traffic. I have yet to have any type of food and it is now 3:20 pm.

I did send out my Thanksgiving greetings. This year, along with all the incredible blessings tha have been bestowed upon me, I am thankful for those friends who have been there for me these past trying months. I pray God Blesses you and yours on this day and everyday!

Now if I can just have some turkey...

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Much Bigger Person

Today, there was an incident at work (that was not work related) that really shook me for a while. It was hard to concentrate when I could hear that hateful voice and those vile words being thrown at me. How someone could be so devious is beyond me, but I really cannot change people.

Fast forward several hours later to my meeting with Human Resources about the incident and my options are given to me. Questions about security, "Do I feel safe in the workplace?" and the like were posed. One of the biggest things that was pushed was my emotional well-being. "How are you handling it all? Do you need someone to talk to?" Things of that nature.

This really had me thinking about how I was handling everything emotionally. The holidays can be a very stressful time for even the happiest person. However, throw in various factors such as figuring out life, work and the other occasional worries and concerns and life seems pretty unbearable. Crowds in stores, horrible drivers, and rude people like the ones who bothered me today can really instill a sense of bitterness in a person.

I don't know why but for some reason I started thinking of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Maybe it had something to do with a book on non-violence I had seen at Barnes & Noble over the weekend, but whatever the reason I thought of him and his fight to end civil injustice.

The horrible names that man had heard. The atrocities he witnessed. The pain he suffered in silence. Never once allowing the negativity and evil of others to consume him and transform him into a machine of hatred. He continued in his battle waving a banner of love, peace and nonviolence.

Please do not mistake my intentions. In no way am I trying to compare the paltry incidents that I have to deal with to Dr. King and his struggle. Quite the contrary; the way I see it, if someone can deal with the death threats, the accusations, the degradation, and the dehumanization that Dr. King encountered, and still hold strong in his beliefs of peace and non-violence, then what is my excuse?

Two quotes I found that had me thinking:

1)Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

2)Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I refuse to hold onto bitterness and allow it to infect my attitude and reactions. In addition, I do not wish to harbor hate in my heart for any person. Those who see fit to continue their antics against me deserve nothing more than my prayers as I refuse to hand over the power to control me to those who wield the sword of intimidation.

I chose this picture of Dr. King for this entry because of his look off deep thought and prayer. It's almost as if one could see the burden of the struggle weighing him down. However, his face is not angry or vengeful. It's reflective and once again as if he was in prayer.

These are just thoughts that changed my disposition. Reflections on a person much bigger than I.


Monday, November 24, 2008


Empty syringe
Originally uploaded by shadphotos
Yes, I have to admit.

I have belonephobia.

Now for all the nasty people thinking about STDs and the like let me clarify.

According to dictionary.com belonephobia is an abnormal fear of sharply pointed objects, especially needles.

Yes, I am afraid of needles.

So much so that I had to chose the attached picture for this blog entry because the other "good" pictures of needles had me feeling queesy.

This is why I don't get flu shots and never even finished all of my vaccinations. It's why I know I could never be a heroin addict and I pray I do not become diabetic.

Needles...... ewwwwwww.



Almost every little girl is brought up to believe that her wedding day will be the happiest day of her life. In the movies we watched the prince save the princess and they live happily ever after (presumably) after their big wedding with all their friends that had particpated in their adventures.

However, we never see what REALLY happens after the wedding. We don't see when the prince loses his charm, the arguments over money, dirty socks left on the coffee table, children crying, compromise and the like. As such, we never see marriage. All we see is a wedding.

I may come across as bitter. However, that's not my intention at all. Just setting up the exposition, because what ends up happening is that all the little girls spoon-fed this idealized view of marriage grow up with dreams about their own special day, only to learn that marriage is about as easy in real life as it would be to slay a dragon.

Admittedly, I am one of the girls who grew up with white-iced cake, red rose dreams of her wedding day. Even up until my early years in college did I hold out hope for my wedding day at 25 or at the latest 26. All of my friends knew that one day I wanted to be married and that they would all be invited...to the castle...in Europe...where my dream wedding would take place =)

Now, here I am at 25. Not only am I not married but the idea of marriage scares me a little. There was the incident in Seattle where I had walked into a store to talk about what looked like the ugliest wedding dress I had ever seen. After awhile it just hit me that I was in a bridal shop with a guy, and I had a panic attack which forced me to leave. I tell people that I'm not sure if I ever want to be married and they look at me in shock and recount the castle, the dresses, the details I once shared about my dream wedding.

What happened in the years that saw me turn from a wedding candidate to marriage-phobe?

Reality set in for me. I saw couples fall apart. People who I thought really loved each other, would do anything and everything for each other shooting deadly looks. Ignoring the requests of the one they loved. Seeing seperation and divorce happen on multiple instances in people I knew. The pain, the fear, and the bewilderment. It's all so staggering to me.

When I'm in a relationship, I put my all into that relationship. Should I decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, then I would work even harder to ensure my marriage works, but sometimes thats not enough. If only one person puts their all into a relationship theres still a very big possibility that the marriage would fall apart. I cannot imagine what I would do if someone I thought I would be with forever told me that they no longer wanted to be with me.

So maybe I'm not afraid of marriage. Maybe I'm just afraid of divorce.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Carrot

Originally uploaded by Boar Amour
This isn't the picture that had come to mind, but it was the closest I could find to that bloodless carrot I wrote about in my last entry.


Blood, Turnips, and Vampire Rabbits

by Jean Cozzens
Originally uploaded by newurbanarts
Well, it isn't that busy at work. Nothing like it has been these past couple of weeks. I spent some time these past couple of days transcribing my stories from the legal pad I use to the computer. Today, I thought I would start work on a whole new story. However, I have found myself to be stuck. No ideas, no nothing. I told Megan I am dead. She said she was sorry.

In any case I thought it's like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip and then I wondered where that saying came from. So I started googling it online and before I could find anything I had this mental image of a white turnip, no wait it's a carrot and it's white because this vampire rabbit had sucked it dry.

I know that's a weird thought. A vampire rabbit, but I swear I did not create this concept. I think it was a book that I had read as child called Vampire Rabbit . This memory causes me to suspend my search on the blood and turnip quote to look up the book.

Bunnicula! Now I remember. This family goes to see Dracula and they find a baby rabbit in the theater and name it Bunnicula. It's the family dog who is the narrator in this book turned tv show turned movie. See, I did know what I was talking about.

However, I still did not find the origins of "Squeezing Blood From A Turnip." As such I returned to that search.

According to one search result from The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. 2002., the phrase means "You can only get from people what they are willing or able to give."

Hmmm. That's not exactly what I was looking for and so my search continues.

UsingEnglish.com tells me this: "When people say that you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip, it means that you cannot get something from a person, especially money, that they don't have."

I know what the phrase means. What I am searching for is the origin. Other sites give me very similar explanations and definitions.

One website (bloodlessturnip.com) has a home page that appears to be like a very long rant against those who try to convince church members to give money they do not have for offering. I read that for awhile because it was kind of interesting.

Ehhhh. Everywhere else I see the quote the credit is given to Mr. Anonymous . This man is brilliant. I see him credited for many sayings that sprinkle our vernacular.

I gave up on searching for the origins of that phrase and instead switched to finding a picture of that victimized carrot. However, all the pictures I found were of regular carrots or Carrot Top.

All those pictures of carrots made me hungry. I really wish I could get something to eat. Instead, I think I'll go back to working on that story.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

National Novel Writing Month

November is National Novel Writing Month and for several years I have tried (and failed) to complete a novel by the end of the month. This year I completely forgot about the significance behind writing in November. However, this may be the month that I actually finish a book. I'm still chugging along on Rock Star Ambition, but its the collection of short stories thats really coming along.

It's strange when I have a plan out how a story will go and it ends up nothing like my plan. This has been happening with every story.

Here's hoping I have it done by the end of November!

~Posted From My BlackJack II


Yes, thats 3:08 in the morning! And despite the fact that I felt like crashing not too long ago, right now I am wide awake.

I think I'll have some leftover chicken salad and call it a night.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

For Some Reason

sad fairy
Originally uploaded by cinbee03
It's one of those days where I came into work determined on maintaining an upbeat attitude. Yet, for some reason that I cannot explain, that upbeat attitude has vanished. I feel down and I really don't know why.

I considered leaving work early, but I don't think that will do much for me. Except I will be sitting at home feeling down. If I'm going to be like this no matter where I am then I might as well be getting paid.

I hope this feeling ends soon.


Monday, November 17, 2008

Last Weigh-in

This coming Thursday marks the last day of the Biggest Loser contest at my job. I came in #5 at the last weigh-in. As such I'm trying to do good and so at Dennys I ordered grilled fish, vegetables, and mash potatos.

I didn't finish the potatos. Hopefully, I do well Thursday.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Unhappiness & T.V

From the center of people with too much time/money on their hands comes a study with the following findings:

"Unhappy People Watch More T.V Than Their Happier Counterparts"

Did they really need a study to prove this? It's called escapism! You're unhappy with your life so you delve into a medium where you can focus on situations that distract you from your own problems.

This is why you hear celebrities say things like "I don't watch tv." Of course not! Their lives are far too exciting and interesting to want to hide out in a world of medical dramas, situational comedies, and "reality" shows.

Since I refuse to incriminate myself, I will not say how much tv I watch =)


~Posted From My BlackJack II

Where There's Smoke...

Santa Clarita Smoke
Originally uploaded by Rick O!
Smoke fills the air, ash covers my car. It must mean one of two things. Either I have been transported back to Sicilia and Mt. Etna (checking....nope still here.) or there are some wildfires somewhere. Anyone watching the news and he continued coverage of "FIRESTORMS!!!" would know that it 's the latter.

One would think that after living in SoCal for as many years as I have that I would grow accustomed to the acrid air as wildfires rage on, much like how I grew accustomed to the plumes of smoke from that active volcano years ago. However, this is not the case. I am coughing and wheezing and my chest hurts. Ehhhh.

Then there's the driving. It's almost like the fire is right in front of the drivers. I mean, seriously, I left for work on time and I ended up 3 minutes late. Cars crept along the freeway for no apparent reason, other than the clouds of smke. Not don't get me wrong. I'm all for safety and everything, but visibility of the road and other cars was not affected by the smoke. Yet, some drivers felt the need to let their odometers drop to 40.

All in all I feel restless and icky because of the fires. I took several pictures of my own over there weekend and I'll post those shortly.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Voting Today

So, its 7:45 am and I've been waiting in line for about 45 minutes. The line was not even that long, it's just moving very slowly.

Why is it moving so slowly?

Because of all the people who decided to wait until this morning to even look at the booklet. Listen, if you do not know by now, don't waste my time trying to figure it out. Like the guy who asked for one of those voter guides after he got here.

Well, I'm almost there. I'll post an entry with a picture of my "I Voted" sticker!

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Rainy Days in LA

Rain is rare is Los Angeles, but I love it. Yesterday, was Day 1 of the Tamale Festival and the skies were grey. It was great to be outdoors and enjoying the music and the food. The fact that the weather was gloomy...maybe I'm just a gloomy, overly-romantic person, because I loved the weather.

The rain woke me up this morning. That and the fact that I felt like it was alot later than 7:30am. This time change is kicking my butt, but I would rather have it where I am awake early with the chance to just lie around in bed waiting for another hour to past, rather than waking up late because we moved time ahead an hour. That was me several months ago.

So now I am sitting here looking out the window at the grey skies, with the smell of fresh cooked pancakes that my sister cooked (and I will not be eating becase there will be plenty of food today) Thinking about how wonderful the sound of the rain against the window.

It's a rare and wonderful thing here.


Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy Day!

After fitting into one I tried another pair of jeas that I had pushed off to the "too small side of the closet. Then another, and another....

They all fit!

I feel like I just went jeans shopping and I didnt pay a thing! Yes, thats 7 pairs of jeans.

It's a very happy day.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Happy Dance!

I have a few pairs of jeans that were banished to the side of my closet as they no longer fit thanks to my friends double cheeseburgers, and animal style fries.

I have not seen those friends for some time. As such I thought I would try on one of these banished pairs of jeans.

I cannot believe they fit! Now I am doing a happy dance! =)

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Monday, October 27, 2008


Bewitching Beauty
Originally uploaded by the_anim8r
Although I said I would choose my outfit for today last night, I once again did not. As such, I spent this morning wondering what I should wear. A quick look in my closet and I decided on the long pink skirt with the gold trim and a white lacey top with the ribbon. It was quick, it was easy and I left for work.

At work I was told that I looked like a gypsy. Comparisons were made to Esmeralda, the gypsy from the Disney movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I have to admit. If I had to be compared to anyone, Esmeralda was a beautiful character. It's just interesting that keep being compared to the "ethnic" Disney characters. While I was at AT&T I was told that I reminded my coworker of Princess Tiger Lily. In elementary school I was told that I looked like Princess Jasmine.

All of these Disney girls (can't say princess because Esmeralda was definitely not a princes) were beautiful in their own right so I guess I should not complain. I mean it's not like anyone said I looked like the Hunchback. Then I would be upset.


Aquarium of The Pacific

Blue Whale
Originally uploaded by disneymike
I have a confession.

I had lived in Long Beach for over 4 years and I had never visited the Aquarium of the Pacific....

For years, people would say things like "...you know like at the Aquarium of the Pacific?" and I would say yes and go along with it all like I had been there before. There were a few people who knew that I had never been but to others I maintained this facade of the typical Long Beach resident who has seen all that LBC has to offer and blah blah blah blah.

But I had never gone.

Until yesterday.

First, it was exciting because it was a complete surprise. I had no idea that we would be going to the Aquarium. Once I got over the surprise I was able enjoy looking at the seafood...um...I mean sea creatures. Although, I have to admit that many of them looked quite tasty. LoL

There was a section where you were allowed to touch the sting rays and the sharks. At first I was too chicken to touch anything. I mean, seriously, these are the same creatures that killed Steve Irwin (the crocodile hunter) and that guy was tough. After being egged on I finally agreed to touch the big black sting ray. It felt weird, because the ray was slimy but rough at the same time.

All in all it was a fun time. Now I can honestly say I have been to the Aquarium of the Pacific.


Thanks Dude!!

Batman vs. Superman II

I was telling Ruben about the Batman/Superman conversation between Megan and myself. Then our conversation went something like this:

Ruben: If I ask you a question will you promise not to get mad?

Me: Ok (kind of worried)

Ruben: What's kryptonite?

me breathing a sigh of relief

It reminded me of this conversation between Megan, Greg and myself when we discussed that prior conversation:

Me: Well, my sister thought that kryptonite was real.

Megan: That's just too funny.

Greg: Kryptonite is real

Me/Megan: No it's not.

Greg: Yes, it is.

Megan: I'm going to check online.

Me: I think you're thinking of graphite.

Greg: No, it's this dark rock.

Me: That's graphite.

Megan: on Wikipedia Kryptonite is a rock found on the planet Krypton in the Superman Universe.

Me: I told you. You're thinking of graphite. That's what they use to make pencils instead of lead.

(sigh)Good times!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

There are Times....

when God hears your prayers and answers them in a time that is not in accordance with what you want. Then there are times when God answers your prayer quickly. I praise Him for both but in the time of quick answers, it makes me realize how exquisite it is to have a God who can hear the cries of your heart and assauge your worries and fears.

Man may break your heart but God is always there. I have been reminded of this often in the past weeks. He will give you the strength to walk through the pain and stress of the day to day.

For this and so much more, I am thankful!

~Posted From My BlackJack II


I feel really anxious for some reason and I don't know why. Most of today was spent sleeping and now I cannot get to sleep.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 02
Originally uploaded by bbaltimore
So, it's all been decided and the Art Center has its departmental theme for Halloween. I'm going along with everything as it all sounds like a lot of fun. This the first time I have ever dressed up for work and only the 2nd time I've ever dressed up for Halloween.

As a child I never celebrated Halloween. I was brought up knowing the pagan origins of the holiday and as such attended several church sponsored Halloween alternatives. Now as an adult, I feel conflicted as I know that most people use this day as a means of dress up and fun, but there are still the spiritual implications of the day.

Despite all this I had agreed to participate in the work event. If it was not for this scheduled competition I would not have even considered buying a costume for this day. I will not be attending any parties and thus have no reason to dress up. When originally planning the theme for our department, I had suggested Super Heroes. With this theme I would dress up as Wonder Woman.

This morning we had a departmental meeting to discuss the theme. The Super Hero theme was dropped in favor of something else.

It does make me a little sad because I started looking forwards to dressing up as Wonder Woman. There are many times when I wish I could be a super hero. As a super hero I would be able to solve all the problems of the people that I care about. My friends my family, myself.

I know that dressing up as Wonder Woman would not magically give me super powers, but it would have been nice. A part of me could have pretended that this was the case.

However, I'll go along with the agreed plan. Not as great as super heroes, but it should be fine.



If nothing else theres a positive to all the waiting. That "new car smell" is being extended. I feel happy when I get a text message and excited when the phone rings. The thought of tomorrow (or rather later today) and I feel butterflies in my stomach.

True it works both ways. I get a little worried when I'm not contacted. Then there's relief when the promised phone call comes.

I hear the words and I melt and I'm giddy and it's almost like being in school, or in one of those extremely cheesy chick flicks that I hated. Little things and I'm hopeful like now. Because it's been awhile since certain requests have been made and I have no problem doing them.

This may seem so convoluted but I'm intentionally vague. The important thing is that right now I'm all smiles.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Batman/Superman Convo aka Why Batman is Not That Great of A Super Hero

Originally uploaded by Zelevol
This is a conversation that took place between my coworker and I yesterday:

Me: Batman is not that great of a superhero. He has no super powers.

Megan: Well, Ironman has no super powers.

Me:They both have the same things. Money and access to technology. And they're both smart.

Megan stares at me blankly

Megan: And? I don't see the problem with that.

Me: I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I just said they were not great super heroes. Why are you defending Batman? You prefer Superman!

Megan: Yeah but I still like Batman.

Me:Its a wonder that Batman is even still alive. I mean atleast Ironman has that big suit to protect him. Throw Batman around and he's dead.

Megan: Well, a tiny piece of Kryptonite can strip Superman of his powers.

Me: It's not easy to get Kryptonite!! It takes some serious planning to get some Kryptonite.

VP: You're absolutely right!! It's not easy to get Kryptonite.

Yeah, that person agreeing with me at the end was one of the company vice presidents. He was walking by when he heard the last 2 lines of our conversation and he actually made a u-turn and told us that I was right. It was funny because he's like this older respectable guy and he actually came back to us to throw in his 2 cents about Superman.

I guess everyone has their opinions about super heroes!


Driving Me Mad: Part 1

I left my apartment at the same time that I usually do every weekday morning. However, I was late by a whole 4 minutes. 4 minutes may not seem like a lot but because of the time clock system that we have, 4 minutes means .25 hours off your paycheck.

In any case there were all these people on the road, who do not know how to drive and they were the reason I was late. It's people like them that make me long for better public transportation. Then I could just sit back and read Blackwood Farm instead of trying to get to work on time.

Here I have compiled a list of some of my biggest driving annoyances:

Imaginary Stop Signs

Residential neighborhoods have stop signs at intersections sometimes there are 2 way stops, sometimes there are 4. I hate when there are NO stop signs and yet a driver stops and waits as if something is suppose to happen! THERE IS NO STOP SIGN KEEP MOVING.

Multiple Lane Drivers

There are these dashes on the road. They seperate lanes. You are only to drive in one lane at a time. I hate it when some decide to straddle the lanes. Honestly, if you can't figure out that you are suppose to be IN BETWEEN THE LINES how did you get your driver's license?

Another thing that some drivers like to do is to sloooooowly change lanes. By doing this they end up sitting in 2 lanes. Again ONE LANE PER CAR!

Chronic Braker

Just becasue a leaf falls does not mean you have to hit your brakes. You cannot drive around raindrops, or the fog. Ease off the brake!

Create My Own Kids Zone

I pass 2 school zones on my way to work. One is right by my apartment and the other is on 7th street. There are areas where parents can drop off their kids and go on their merry ways. Sometimes there are long lines to drop off your kids. That's sad. However, that does not mean you have the right to stop in the middle of the street and let your kids out. Now you're holding up traffic for all us regular people trying to get to work!

Cut Off and Slow Down

So I'm driving along and someone decides to cut me off. Fine. There's nothing I can do. You've already cut me off. But when someone cuts me off and then slams their brakes and proceed to drive slow....they have issues! If you wanted to drive slow then don't cut me off!!!

Just thinking about these is making me angry. Be on the look out for Part 2!


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Blast From The Past (PLOD)

My sister started looking through some of her old pictures and talking about how much fun she had in college. I decided to log in to one of my old photbucket accounts and I found enough pictures to take a brief jog down memory lane myself.

This picture is from the last staf retreat I attended with the MultiCultural Center. Our group "PLOD" (The initials from our first names:Phoebe & Patti, Lui, Oscar and Don) were in charge of cooking breakfast on this particular day. Lui is not in the picture.

This picture is from the Cinco de Mayo event that Oscar planned during our last year. I look not so happy because at this time I was going through so much drama with work, school and my friendships. Nobody said that every memory had to be a good one.

Oh yeah, and it was one of those weird days where it actually rained in SoCal. Thus the sweatshirts in May.

The Asian Pacific Islander Caucus at NCORE (National Coalition for Race and Ethnicity in higher education) Here is the reason why I was not feeling like going out for dinner, even though we were in New York. This picture was taken after our 3 hour meeting!

NCORE wasn't all work. I did manage to go souvenir shopping while in New York.

This monkey is still hanging around the back of my bedroom door.

The last time I saw Amanda, we were in Hollywood next to David Bowie's star!

Happy times with the roommates.

I know I'm not in this picture but someone had to hold the camera!

This concludes my jog through memory lane. Wasn't it so nostalgic?


Monday, October 20, 2008

So It's Not...

It's not back to the way it use to be. Although I have to admit, it's not bad. It's really confusing.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Sunday, October 19, 2008

My Current Obsession

Diet Caffenine Free Sodas!

This one was Sierra Mist Free Cranberry Splash. I also bought Diet Mountain Dew & Diet Sierra Mist (the regular one) All of this started because I like Sprite Zero but have a hard time finding it. However, I tried Diet Mountain Dew and it tasted ok.

Whats the point of caffenine free, sugar free soda? Soda taste/feel with no calories!

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Acapulco: All The Food I Couldn't Eat

The Combo Ultimo:
1) 1 Tamale
2) 1 Chili Relleno
3) 1 Enchilada
4) 1 Beef Taco
5) Rice
6) Beans

I took 2 bites and took the rest to go. That was way too much food!

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Friday, October 17, 2008


Lately I have not been writing so much on my blogs, but I have been playing catch up with my journal. As I think back on the events in my life this past summer, I came to a realization... there is a particular friend I miss hanging out with and seeing. It's been awhile since I've last talked to her, and I honestly do not know why. However, I miss her.

Hash browns and hot chocolate from Denny's just isn't the same.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Could It Be???

That things are back to the way they were more than a week ago? I'm happy but scared at the same time. I mean what if I'm wrong? What if I just misinterpreted those messages? I'm going to have to ask for clarification and thats kind of scary. But I'll leave it for tomorrow. Is it any wonder why I can't sleep?

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Monday, October 13, 2008

One of Those Days

Originally uploaded by (Erik)
It's one of those days where time just does not seem to be moving fast enough. Sitting at my desk, it seems like everytime I look at the clock only a minute has passed when it feels like it has been an eternity.

The building is cold...again. My hands are freezing and it does not help that I feel like taking a nap. The morning went by quickly enough, but now time is just hobbling along.

I have done everything that I need to do for the moment. Everytime a completed ad hits my desk, I have it marked complete, pointed, and filed. As such, there are no messy piles for me to sort through or any work that I have been putting off.

Time is just moving too slowly.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Originally uploaded by JoeCollver
My original plan was to take a brief hiatus from the blogging world. There's just so much going on in my life that I felt that the need to take some time to keep my thoughts to myself. However, after hearing some sad news not too long ago, I felt compelled to write.

The sad news was that a family friend had passed away. It was expected that his time with us would be ending soon, but it really has me thinking.

Some of us will never be so blessed; to live a long life and leave this world succombing to old age. We never know when our time is up here.

As I thought of this I also realized that people can leave us for different reasons. Although, death may be the biggest goodbye, there are other situations that may result in a person no longer being a part of our lives. I have had to say my share of goodbyes, and I've learned that saying them often does not make saying them any easier.

What it really boils down to is to cherish every moment you have to spend with those who mean the most to you. Whether its something big like family reunions or something small like watching Charlie and The Chocolate Factory or going to Del Taco. You never know if that moment will be your last with that person. You never know when the situation will change. You never know when you have to say goodbye.


Sometimes This is What Love Feels Like....


Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Equivalent of Breathing

write me a letter...
Originally uploaded by Linda Cronin
"For me writing is like breathing,...I could not live without breathing and I could not live without writing."

-Pablo Neruda

This quote pretty much sums it up.


Vividly Blind

There are times when lightning stikes and a great idea is born.

Vividly Blind was not one of those times.

Having a love for writing I always found myself scribbling my thoughts, creating scenarios and developing plots for various tales of ficton. I found various outlets to release my creativity, one such manifestation being this blog.

Yet, I always felt I should be doing more with my writing. It is nice to be able to prattle on about the daily activities in my life, but I must admit the entries that mean the most to me are the ones that allow me to branch out into areas that are a little less self-absorbed.

Couple my longing to do more with my writing and the simmering desire to write more and Vividly Blind was born.

Vividly Blind is a new blog I created that features articles focused on tough issues going on in the world. Its a voice for those who have no voice and a light into the darkest corners of humanity. I will attempt to bring up all that we would at times prefer to keep hidden.

The reason behind the name Vividly Blind is that the topics I'll focus on are so obviously around us that they are vivid and clear to see. Yet, we chose to turn a blind eye due to fear, ignorance, or just plain self-involvement.

My hope is that anyone who comes to this blog will leave with a small grain of understanding of issues that are normally ignored, or at the very least a slight desire to refuse to stay blind to the plight of those around us.

Visit Vividly Blind at VividlyBlind.Blogspot.com