Sunday, November 30, 2008

Islands III

This is what I got as a to go container after I complained.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Islands II

This is what they gave me as a to go container.

~Posted From My Black Jack II


This is what I wanted to take to go.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Friday, November 28, 2008

12:01am : The Day After Thanksgiving

Most people up right now are waiting for Black Friday shopping. However, I am on my way back home because I have to work in 8 hours.

Dinner was nice. Having all the family, all the food, the conversation. It was pretty cool. I thank God for the day and for all that I have. Even the fact that I have a job to go to tomorrow, or rather later today. There are some who wish they could have that.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving as much as I did. So now I will sit back and watch the freeway fly around me (no traffic) and continue to IM with Kat until I'm home.

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Thursday, November 27, 2008

On My Way to Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving Dinner is usually held at my parents' house in sunny San Diego. Its a dinner with my immediate family and whoever feels like stopping by. However, this year several members of my extended family asked my mom to host a large Thanksgiving where hatchets and grudges would be buried and forgotten to allow for a peaceful family dinner. The idea of a large Thanksgiving dinner is not bad. Athough, I must admit not everyone will be there, that I had hoped would be there, but I've accepted that fact. Now there are only 2 things that are stressing me out.

The first is the unusally large amount of cars on the freeway. I mean the traffic is horrendous. The attached picture does not even begin to showcase the intensity of traffic I'm currently sitting through. The second is the fact that I'm having to come back to Long Beach tonight so that I can be at work tomorrow. Sure, they made it a just for fun Friday so that we can wear jeans, but that's the very least that they can do. With so may franchisees deadlining Monday, it doesn't even look like I will be leaving early.

In any case, this describes my Thanksgiving thus far: Sitting in traffic. I have yet to have any type of food and it is now 3:20 pm.

I did send out my Thanksgiving greetings. This year, along with all the incredible blessings tha have been bestowed upon me, I am thankful for those friends who have been there for me these past trying months. I pray God Blesses you and yours on this day and everyday!

Now if I can just have some turkey...

~Posted From My Black Jack II

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Much Bigger Person

Today, there was an incident at work (that was not work related) that really shook me for a while. It was hard to concentrate when I could hear that hateful voice and those vile words being thrown at me. How someone could be so devious is beyond me, but I really cannot change people.

Fast forward several hours later to my meeting with Human Resources about the incident and my options are given to me. Questions about security, "Do I feel safe in the workplace?" and the like were posed. One of the biggest things that was pushed was my emotional well-being. "How are you handling it all? Do you need someone to talk to?" Things of that nature.

This really had me thinking about how I was handling everything emotionally. The holidays can be a very stressful time for even the happiest person. However, throw in various factors such as figuring out life, work and the other occasional worries and concerns and life seems pretty unbearable. Crowds in stores, horrible drivers, and rude people like the ones who bothered me today can really instill a sense of bitterness in a person.

I don't know why but for some reason I started thinking of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Maybe it had something to do with a book on non-violence I had seen at Barnes & Noble over the weekend, but whatever the reason I thought of him and his fight to end civil injustice.

The horrible names that man had heard. The atrocities he witnessed. The pain he suffered in silence. Never once allowing the negativity and evil of others to consume him and transform him into a machine of hatred. He continued in his battle waving a banner of love, peace and nonviolence.

Please do not mistake my intentions. In no way am I trying to compare the paltry incidents that I have to deal with to Dr. King and his struggle. Quite the contrary; the way I see it, if someone can deal with the death threats, the accusations, the degradation, and the dehumanization that Dr. King encountered, and still hold strong in his beliefs of peace and non-violence, then what is my excuse?

Two quotes I found that had me thinking:

1)Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

2)Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I refuse to hold onto bitterness and allow it to infect my attitude and reactions. In addition, I do not wish to harbor hate in my heart for any person. Those who see fit to continue their antics against me deserve nothing more than my prayers as I refuse to hand over the power to control me to those who wield the sword of intimidation.

I chose this picture of Dr. King for this entry because of his look off deep thought and prayer. It's almost as if one could see the burden of the struggle weighing him down. However, his face is not angry or vengeful. It's reflective and once again as if he was in prayer.

These are just thoughts that changed my disposition. Reflections on a person much bigger than I.


Monday, November 24, 2008


Empty syringe
Originally uploaded by shadphotos
Yes, I have to admit.

I have belonephobia.

Now for all the nasty people thinking about STDs and the like let me clarify.

According to belonephobia is an abnormal fear of sharply pointed objects, especially needles.

Yes, I am afraid of needles.

So much so that I had to chose the attached picture for this blog entry because the other "good" pictures of needles had me feeling queesy.

This is why I don't get flu shots and never even finished all of my vaccinations. It's why I know I could never be a heroin addict and I pray I do not become diabetic.

Needles...... ewwwwwww.



Almost every little girl is brought up to believe that her wedding day will be the happiest day of her life. In the movies we watched the prince save the princess and they live happily ever after (presumably) after their big wedding with all their friends that had particpated in their adventures.

However, we never see what REALLY happens after the wedding. We don't see when the prince loses his charm, the arguments over money, dirty socks left on the coffee table, children crying, compromise and the like. As such, we never see marriage. All we see is a wedding.

I may come across as bitter. However, that's not my intention at all. Just setting up the exposition, because what ends up happening is that all the little girls spoon-fed this idealized view of marriage grow up with dreams about their own special day, only to learn that marriage is about as easy in real life as it would be to slay a dragon.

Admittedly, I am one of the girls who grew up with white-iced cake, red rose dreams of her wedding day. Even up until my early years in college did I hold out hope for my wedding day at 25 or at the latest 26. All of my friends knew that one day I wanted to be married and that they would all be the Europe...where my dream wedding would take place =)

Now, here I am at 25. Not only am I not married but the idea of marriage scares me a little. There was the incident in Seattle where I had walked into a store to talk about what looked like the ugliest wedding dress I had ever seen. After awhile it just hit me that I was in a bridal shop with a guy, and I had a panic attack which forced me to leave. I tell people that I'm not sure if I ever want to be married and they look at me in shock and recount the castle, the dresses, the details I once shared about my dream wedding.

What happened in the years that saw me turn from a wedding candidate to marriage-phobe?

Reality set in for me. I saw couples fall apart. People who I thought really loved each other, would do anything and everything for each other shooting deadly looks. Ignoring the requests of the one they loved. Seeing seperation and divorce happen on multiple instances in people I knew. The pain, the fear, and the bewilderment. It's all so staggering to me.

When I'm in a relationship, I put my all into that relationship. Should I decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, then I would work even harder to ensure my marriage works, but sometimes thats not enough. If only one person puts their all into a relationship theres still a very big possibility that the marriage would fall apart. I cannot imagine what I would do if someone I thought I would be with forever told me that they no longer wanted to be with me.

So maybe I'm not afraid of marriage. Maybe I'm just afraid of divorce.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Carrot

Originally uploaded by Boar Amour
This isn't the picture that had come to mind, but it was the closest I could find to that bloodless carrot I wrote about in my last entry.


Blood, Turnips, and Vampire Rabbits

by Jean Cozzens
Originally uploaded by newurbanarts
Well, it isn't that busy at work. Nothing like it has been these past couple of weeks. I spent some time these past couple of days transcribing my stories from the legal pad I use to the computer. Today, I thought I would start work on a whole new story. However, I have found myself to be stuck. No ideas, no nothing. I told Megan I am dead. She said she was sorry.

In any case I thought it's like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip and then I wondered where that saying came from. So I started googling it online and before I could find anything I had this mental image of a white turnip, no wait it's a carrot and it's white because this vampire rabbit had sucked it dry.

I know that's a weird thought. A vampire rabbit, but I swear I did not create this concept. I think it was a book that I had read as child called Vampire Rabbit . This memory causes me to suspend my search on the blood and turnip quote to look up the book.

Bunnicula! Now I remember. This family goes to see Dracula and they find a baby rabbit in the theater and name it Bunnicula. It's the family dog who is the narrator in this book turned tv show turned movie. See, I did know what I was talking about.

However, I still did not find the origins of "Squeezing Blood From A Turnip." As such I returned to that search.

According to one search result from The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. 2002., the phrase means "You can only get from people what they are willing or able to give."

Hmmm. That's not exactly what I was looking for and so my search continues. tells me this: "When people say that you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip, it means that you cannot get something from a person, especially money, that they don't have."

I know what the phrase means. What I am searching for is the origin. Other sites give me very similar explanations and definitions.

One website ( has a home page that appears to be like a very long rant against those who try to convince church members to give money they do not have for offering. I read that for awhile because it was kind of interesting.

Ehhhh. Everywhere else I see the quote the credit is given to Mr. Anonymous . This man is brilliant. I see him credited for many sayings that sprinkle our vernacular.

I gave up on searching for the origins of that phrase and instead switched to finding a picture of that victimized carrot. However, all the pictures I found were of regular carrots or Carrot Top.

All those pictures of carrots made me hungry. I really wish I could get something to eat. Instead, I think I'll go back to working on that story.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

National Novel Writing Month

November is National Novel Writing Month and for several years I have tried (and failed) to complete a novel by the end of the month. This year I completely forgot about the significance behind writing in November. However, this may be the month that I actually finish a book. I'm still chugging along on Rock Star Ambition, but its the collection of short stories thats really coming along.

It's strange when I have a plan out how a story will go and it ends up nothing like my plan. This has been happening with every story.

Here's hoping I have it done by the end of November!

~Posted From My BlackJack II


Yes, thats 3:08 in the morning! And despite the fact that I felt like crashing not too long ago, right now I am wide awake.

I think I'll have some leftover chicken salad and call it a night.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

For Some Reason

sad fairy
Originally uploaded by cinbee03
It's one of those days where I came into work determined on maintaining an upbeat attitude. Yet, for some reason that I cannot explain, that upbeat attitude has vanished. I feel down and I really don't know why.

I considered leaving work early, but I don't think that will do much for me. Except I will be sitting at home feeling down. If I'm going to be like this no matter where I am then I might as well be getting paid.

I hope this feeling ends soon.


Monday, November 17, 2008

Last Weigh-in

This coming Thursday marks the last day of the Biggest Loser contest at my job. I came in #5 at the last weigh-in. As such I'm trying to do good and so at Dennys I ordered grilled fish, vegetables, and mash potatos.

I didn't finish the potatos. Hopefully, I do well Thursday.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Unhappiness & T.V

From the center of people with too much time/money on their hands comes a study with the following findings:

"Unhappy People Watch More T.V Than Their Happier Counterparts"

Did they really need a study to prove this? It's called escapism! You're unhappy with your life so you delve into a medium where you can focus on situations that distract you from your own problems.

This is why you hear celebrities say things like "I don't watch tv." Of course not! Their lives are far too exciting and interesting to want to hide out in a world of medical dramas, situational comedies, and "reality" shows.

Since I refuse to incriminate myself, I will not say how much tv I watch =)

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Where There's Smoke...

Santa Clarita Smoke
Originally uploaded by Rick O!
Smoke fills the air, ash covers my car. It must mean one of two things. Either I have been transported back to Sicilia and Mt. Etna (checking....nope still here.) or there are some wildfires somewhere. Anyone watching the news and he continued coverage of "FIRESTORMS!!!" would know that it 's the latter.

One would think that after living in SoCal for as many years as I have that I would grow accustomed to the acrid air as wildfires rage on, much like how I grew accustomed to the plumes of smoke from that active volcano years ago. However, this is not the case. I am coughing and wheezing and my chest hurts. Ehhhh.

Then there's the driving. It's almost like the fire is right in front of the drivers. I mean, seriously, I left for work on time and I ended up 3 minutes late. Cars crept along the freeway for no apparent reason, other than the clouds of smke. Not don't get me wrong. I'm all for safety and everything, but visibility of the road and other cars was not affected by the smoke. Yet, some drivers felt the need to let their odometers drop to 40.

All in all I feel restless and icky because of the fires. I took several pictures of my own over there weekend and I'll post those shortly.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Voting Today

So, its 7:45 am and I've been waiting in line for about 45 minutes. The line was not even that long, it's just moving very slowly.

Why is it moving so slowly?

Because of all the people who decided to wait until this morning to even look at the booklet. Listen, if you do not know by now, don't waste my time trying to figure it out. Like the guy who asked for one of those voter guides after he got here.

Well, I'm almost there. I'll post an entry with a picture of my "I Voted" sticker!

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Rainy Days in LA

Rain is rare is Los Angeles, but I love it. Yesterday, was Day 1 of the Tamale Festival and the skies were grey. It was great to be outdoors and enjoying the music and the food. The fact that the weather was gloomy...maybe I'm just a gloomy, overly-romantic person, because I loved the weather.

The rain woke me up this morning. That and the fact that I felt like it was alot later than 7:30am. This time change is kicking my butt, but I would rather have it where I am awake early with the chance to just lie around in bed waiting for another hour to past, rather than waking up late because we moved time ahead an hour. That was me several months ago.

So now I am sitting here looking out the window at the grey skies, with the smell of fresh cooked pancakes that my sister cooked (and I will not be eating becase there will be plenty of food today) Thinking about how wonderful the sound of the rain against the window.

It's a rare and wonderful thing here.


Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy Day!

After fitting into one I tried another pair of jeas that I had pushed off to the "too small side of the closet. Then another, and another....

They all fit!

I feel like I just went jeans shopping and I didnt pay a thing! Yes, thats 7 pairs of jeans.

It's a very happy day.

~Posted From My BlackJack II

Happy Dance!

I have a few pairs of jeans that were banished to the side of my closet as they no longer fit thanks to my friends double cheeseburgers, and animal style fries.

I have not seen those friends for some time. As such I thought I would try on one of these banished pairs of jeans.

I cannot believe they fit! Now I am doing a happy dance! =)

~Posted From My BlackJack II