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However, we never see what REALLY happens after the wedding. We don't see when the prince loses his charm, the arguments over money, dirty socks left on the coffee table, children crying, compromise and the like. As such, we never see marriage. All we see is a wedding.
I may come across as bitter. However, that's not my intention at all. Just setting up the exposition, because what ends up happening is that all the little girls spoon-fed this idealized view of marriage grow up with dreams about their own special day, only to learn that marriage is about as easy in real life as it would be to slay a dragon.
Admittedly, I am one of the girls who grew up with white-iced cake, red rose dreams of her wedding day. Even up until my early years in college did I hold out hope for my wedding day at 25 or at the latest 26. All of my friends knew that one day I wanted to be married and that they would all be invited...to the castle...in Europe...where my dream wedding would take place =)
Now, here I am at 25. Not only am I not married but the idea of marriage scares me a little. There was the incident in Seattle where I had walked into a store to talk about what looked like the ugliest wedding dress I had ever seen. After awhile it just hit me that I was in a bridal shop with a guy, and I had a panic attack which forced me to leave. I tell people that I'm not sure if I ever want to be married and they look at me in shock and recount the castle, the dresses, the details I once shared about my dream wedding.
What happened in the years that saw me turn from a wedding candidate to marriage-phobe?
Reality set in for me. I saw couples fall apart. People who I thought really loved each other, would do anything and everything for each other shooting deadly looks. Ignoring the requests of the one they loved. Seeing seperation and divorce happen on multiple instances in people I knew. The pain, the fear, and the bewilderment. It's all so staggering to me.
When I'm in a relationship, I put my all into that relationship. Should I decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, then I would work even harder to ensure my marriage works, but sometimes thats not enough. If only one person puts their all into a relationship theres still a very big possibility that the marriage would fall apart. I cannot imagine what I would do if someone I thought I would be with forever told me that they no longer wanted to be with me.
So maybe I'm not afraid of marriage. Maybe I'm just afraid of divorce.
Hmmmmm.
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