It's been a very hard last couple of days.
Another round of layoffs at my company, and another round of goodbyes. Meetings were held with those who sit at the top of our company (CEO, COO, CFO) and explanations given, but the mood is still pretty somber.
Morale is down internally and with our clients (franchisees) I am having a very hard time trying to maintain a cheerful disposition when there is so much that needs to be done with such a small staff. There is also the unknowning feeling bestowed upon us by our CEO, who informed us that 7 additional positions will be cut. The announcement of who will be cut and when has yet to be made.
I have been so stressed that it took me 2 days before I could bring myself to write about all that has occurred. Yes, the layoffs happened on Tuesday.
When I finally decided that I would write an entry, I looked to flickr for inspiration. It was here that I found this picture of my friend and former co-worker. Seeing this picture made me realize that not only is she very right but that I really needed to pick myself up.
Things will be ok, I just have to trust and have faith. This is all part of God's plan and just because I do not understand it or like it, does not mean that He's not there, moving everything into place, according to His perfect will.
Possible opportunities have already been presented before me. It's all just a matter of me taking that great leap of faith. So I will be re-working my resume to ensure that "WRITER" appears and I will be putting together a portfolio of writing samples.
...and Megan, I think we talked about this before. So just know when I ask you how you're doing. I'm asking how you're day went, your movie etc. etc. I know you'll be ok =)
~~
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Rare Moment
I am having a very rare moment. As I sit her chatting with Kat, listening to my iPod on shuffle, and surfing the net as I lie in bed....I am suddenly overcome by an inexplicable sense of peace and calm. None of the stress and worries that have been plaguing me are on my mind. It's as if right now, at this moment, everything is right.
I know for a fact that this moment is a gift from God and before beginning this entry (and pausing every now and then throughout) I stopped to pray and thank Him for this unexpected peace.
Don't get me wrong. I have heard so many instances of bad news today. Life is not perfect for me at any stretch, but at this moment I am not focused on any of that. At this moment I feel like I'm staring into a clear lake, surrounded by the stillness and the calm.
I feel so blessed by this moment and plan on reveling in it for as long as possible. Tomorrow's another day.
~~
I know for a fact that this moment is a gift from God and before beginning this entry (and pausing every now and then throughout) I stopped to pray and thank Him for this unexpected peace.
Don't get me wrong. I have heard so many instances of bad news today. Life is not perfect for me at any stretch, but at this moment I am not focused on any of that. At this moment I feel like I'm staring into a clear lake, surrounded by the stillness and the calm.
I feel so blessed by this moment and plan on reveling in it for as long as possible. Tomorrow's another day.
~~
Monday, January 26, 2009
Cheesiness
~Posted From My BlackJack II
Forgotten
Now I down. I don't even have the will to go inside. I want to cry but I can't.
I guess I'll just force myself to go up to bed.
Someone has alot of explaining to do in the morning.
~Posted From My BlackJack II
Friday, January 23, 2009
Daydreaming on a Rainy Day
I woke up this morning a little discombobulated and confused. My surroundings were a little strange as I had fallen asleep and awoke too late. Attempts to shake the fog clouding my head, were pretty futile for some time. Once the lights were turned on, I transformed into a whirlwind as I raced to gather my things and rush home so that I can shower and come into work.
With such a hectic awakening I had adrenaline going thorough me all morning. It felt like I was getting so much done in such little time. Before I knew it, lunch time had rolled around.
That's when I dropped. The after effects of the adrenaline had me feeling down and lazy. So it's rainy outside, I have more than a half an hour till I get to go home and all I can think about is how nice it would be if the 2 of us did get to go on our fantasy vacation to the Mexican Riviera.
Days like this make me wish I could go home and watch some Cosby Show!!
~~
With such a hectic awakening I had adrenaline going thorough me all morning. It felt like I was getting so much done in such little time. Before I knew it, lunch time had rolled around.
That's when I dropped. The after effects of the adrenaline had me feeling down and lazy. So it's rainy outside, I have more than a half an hour till I get to go home and all I can think about is how nice it would be if the 2 of us did get to go on our fantasy vacation to the Mexican Riviera.
Days like this make me wish I could go home and watch some Cosby Show!!
~~
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Obama Over Orange Chicken (Who Knew?)
True to my word, I took Megan out to lunch today. We went for Chinese food and as we waited for more fried rice to be cooked we watched the Inauguration parade in Washington on the big CRT tv. (No plasma screen at Panda House)
Since we're both worldly in the sense that we would have paid attention to the inauguration no matter who was being sworn in, we watched/listened to the inauguration while processing ads in the morning. After getting our lunch we settled into seats on the other side of the tv (its not that momentous to watch big black limousines coming down the street, thats just another day in Hollywood) and began conversing about Obama and life in general. Here are a few snippets that I thought were classic:
Megan: Want to here something funny? I saw Obama on tv yesterday painting and my first thought was, shouldn't he have someone doing that for him? Like does he seriously have to paint the White House himself?
Me: Laughing
Later.....
Non-White Me: Do you know what I mean when I say that Joe Biden looks like one of those whitey white guys?
White Megan: Uhhhhhh. Yeah. He's kinda pasty...Like one of those guys who you wouldn't think to have friends outside his race?
Non-White Me: Yeah, and then you see him hug Obama and it's kinda like awwwww.
White Megan: Well, atleast he doesn't shudder anymore everytime he hugs him. I mean he looks like the type of guy who shuddered in the past everytime he had to hug him.
So these conversations went on for a while. After lunch Keoni had to add a server to our Macs. That's when Megan pointed out that I lost the server because I hit the eject button on my computer. I kindly pointed out that the icon looked like an up button, not an eject button.
(What can I say? I'm a PC girl in a MAC world)
Everyone laughed.
To which I told them the story of how Megan thought Obama was painting the White House.
Later I sang Under the Sea and the theme song to Threes Company. Why? Because they were stuck in my head and I felt the need to share my thougths with my coworkers.
These people know they missed me :)
~~
Back At the Grind
In just a couple of hours I will be walking back into the office once again. Although, this is far from the job of my dreams (see my last entry) I am so tired of lying in bed that a part of me is looking forward to work.
A very, very small part of me.
I'm sure it will take no more than one day for me to get over that feeling. Maybe even less than an hour.
I'll probably miss my bed as soon as I get to the parking lot.
~~
A very, very small part of me.
I'm sure it will take no more than one day for me to get over that feeling. Maybe even less than an hour.
I'll probably miss my bed as soon as I get to the parking lot.
~~
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Sick Day #9
There was the bladder infection, the viral infection, sore throat, fever, muscle aches, acid indigestion and for the past 2 days add migraines to that growing list of ailments that has plagued me. One of the reasons why I have had such a hard time recuperating is the lack of sleep. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of time to sleep but I have reached that point once again.
I mumble template ids in my sleep and dream of that certification machine. Franchise numbers drift in and out of my thoughts and I* am constantly questioning the AdEase status of clients.
Yes, this has happened to me before; once upon at time at AT&T. Now it's happening again and it only means one thing...
This is why despite the increasing pain caused by the computer, I'm still online. I'm searching.
~~
I mumble template ids in my sleep and dream of that certification machine. Franchise numbers drift in and out of my thoughts and I* am constantly questioning the AdEase status of clients.
Yes, this has happened to me before; once upon at time at AT&T. Now it's happening again and it only means one thing...
This is why despite the increasing pain caused by the computer, I'm still online. I'm searching.
~~
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
PC & MAC
So after a year of fighting it, the MAC was finally put on my desk. I say put on my desk, because it has yet to be networked and the like. Megan was explaining the necessity of cross-platforming to her friend and it made me think of a little song. This is how the song went when I told Megan:
I start doing the song and motions
Megan's not looking.
Me: Megan!!! Are you watching this?
Megan: Oooops! Sorry. Ok, go ahead.
I start doing the song and motions again...
Megan's not looking
Me: Megan!!!
Megan: Sorry, I'm horrible.
Me: If you miss it this time then I'm sorry. You missed it. Now I have to act like an idiot for the third time!
I start to do my song and motions
Me: Ebony (motion towards pc) and Ivory (motion towards mac) Work together in perfect harmony (gestures towards both) Side by side on my computer keyboard (moves the 2 keyboards together) Oh Lord, Then why can't we???
Megan is cracking up
Another co-worker from another department comes by and I do my song for her. She tells me I need some serious help.
I say it's just been one of those days. Either you laugh or you cry. I chose to make everyone laugh as I laugh at myself =)
~~
I start doing the song and motions
Megan's not looking.
Me: Megan!!! Are you watching this?
Megan: Oooops! Sorry. Ok, go ahead.
I start doing the song and motions again...
Megan's not looking
Me: Megan!!!
Megan: Sorry, I'm horrible.
Me: If you miss it this time then I'm sorry. You missed it. Now I have to act like an idiot for the third time!
I start to do my song and motions
Me: Ebony (motion towards pc) and Ivory (motion towards mac) Work together in perfect harmony (gestures towards both) Side by side on my computer keyboard (moves the 2 keyboards together) Oh Lord, Then why can't we???
Megan is cracking up
Another co-worker from another department comes by and I do my song for her. She tells me I need some serious help.
I say it's just been one of those days. Either you laugh or you cry. I chose to make everyone laugh as I laugh at myself =)
~~
My MySpace Before Your Work
Yesterday, I came up to an employee in another department and asked her to help a client with a specific program that I am not familiar with. I thought she would be a good person to ask because her department is trained in this program and when I came up to her, I didn't feel so bad interupting her MySpace cruising.
However, when I asked her to help the client she told me she would have to take care of the issue later because she was in the middle of her deadlines.
Excuse me, I didn't realize there were MySpace deadlines.
In this field of work theres plenty of deadtime. It is in this instance that it's nice to be able to search the web. Yet, in these cases it's important to remember that work should come first. Although, it may not be the most interesting thing in the world, we're all here to do a particular job. During these times where unemployment is sky high and companies hiring is at an all time low, I'm very grateful to have a postion that provides a source of income that allows me to live. That thought is a great motivator when trying to prioritize between work and web surfing.
I just hope that Tom does not delete my account because I did not meet all my MySpace deadlines.
However, when I asked her to help the client she told me she would have to take care of the issue later because she was in the middle of her deadlines.
Excuse me, I didn't realize there were MySpace deadlines.
In this field of work theres plenty of deadtime. It is in this instance that it's nice to be able to search the web. Yet, in these cases it's important to remember that work should come first. Although, it may not be the most interesting thing in the world, we're all here to do a particular job. During these times where unemployment is sky high and companies hiring is at an all time low, I'm very grateful to have a postion that provides a source of income that allows me to live. That thought is a great motivator when trying to prioritize between work and web surfing.
I just hope that Tom does not delete my account because I did not meet all my MySpace deadlines.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Resolutions vs. Goals
I have been planning on writing this entry since Friday January 2, 2009. However, it took me forever to find a picture that I thought would go well with this entry. Yes, I take picture selection very seriously when it comes to my blog entries.
In any case it is day 4 in the year 2009. For some reason it does not really feel like a new year. Fireworks went off several nights ago, and idiots fired guns into the air (I mean seriously, where do they think these bulets go? Into outer space?) Yet, I don't feel like the dawn of a new year has arrived.
On new years day, I went to lunch with Johanna and we chatted about the past year. We both agreed that 2008 was not that bad. It was in this year that I saw myself spend over a year at my current job, spend more time with friends, lost weight, read more, write more, etc, etc. Not to mention that I did find love.
In short I really have no major complaints for the passing year, but that does not mean that I shouldn't look to the future. I really am not one to set New Year's resolutions. I have always felt that since most resoutions are forgotten by the end of January, that these resolutions are pointless. However, there is nothing wrong with setting goals for the new year.
Here they are my goals for the new year:
1) Have at least one piece published in 2009.It does not have to be my novel, but atleast a short story or something. I have one competition I plan on submitting a piece for on Jan 15.
2) Advance in my scholastic endeavors.I still have to figure out exactly what that means for me.
3) Go on another vacation. It took me years before I finally went on vacation to Seattle. I'm going to make sure that I don't let so much time go by before I take another much needed break. There have been talks of a cruise…
4) Grow in my spiritual life. There’s always room for growth.
5) Do something about my job. I really should not go into detail about this goal here, but I know what I mean.
There are a few others, but some of those are for me to know. In any case I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Here’s praying that 2009 will be bigger and better than 2008!
~~
In any case it is day 4 in the year 2009. For some reason it does not really feel like a new year. Fireworks went off several nights ago, and idiots fired guns into the air (I mean seriously, where do they think these bulets go? Into outer space?) Yet, I don't feel like the dawn of a new year has arrived.
On new years day, I went to lunch with Johanna and we chatted about the past year. We both agreed that 2008 was not that bad. It was in this year that I saw myself spend over a year at my current job, spend more time with friends, lost weight, read more, write more, etc, etc. Not to mention that I did find love.
In short I really have no major complaints for the passing year, but that does not mean that I shouldn't look to the future. I really am not one to set New Year's resolutions. I have always felt that since most resoutions are forgotten by the end of January, that these resolutions are pointless. However, there is nothing wrong with setting goals for the new year.
Here they are my goals for the new year:
1) Have at least one piece published in 2009.It does not have to be my novel, but atleast a short story or something. I have one competition I plan on submitting a piece for on Jan 15.
2) Advance in my scholastic endeavors.I still have to figure out exactly what that means for me.
3) Go on another vacation. It took me years before I finally went on vacation to Seattle. I'm going to make sure that I don't let so much time go by before I take another much needed break. There have been talks of a cruise…
4) Grow in my spiritual life. There’s always room for growth.
5) Do something about my job. I really should not go into detail about this goal here, but I know what I mean.
There are a few others, but some of those are for me to know. In any case I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Here’s praying that 2009 will be bigger and better than 2008!
~~
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