Sticks, Stones, Rubber & Glue

brighter rocks
Originally uploaded by todder

I remember when I was in elementary school and I would hear insults flung all around the playground. A common response was:

"Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me"

That retort was so empowering back then. Someone could curse your soul to the bottom of the sea and yet those words would have you soaring.

Or did it?

I was the shy, skinny, curly haired, bespectacled child with skin the color of cafe au lait, not dark enough to be black and no where light enough to be white. I heard more than my share of taunts and sing song insults. There were many occasions were I threw that phrase at the little rude beasts of children who would bully me. However, it did not always make me feel better. The insults and comments that were flung hit me like piercing darts and despite the fact that they hit their marks and I stood there bleeding for the world to see, I still insisted my wounds did not exist.

Maybe even then I was beginning to realize the full power of words, as words are such powerful things. Heated exchanges brought about by moments of anger can never be erased. Threats and declarations of hate are eternal. Apologies may act as bandages but they do not erase wounds or prevent scars.

What made me think of all this lately? Some words that have been flung not just at me but at people who I care about. People who I would give the world for and I see these words taking their toll. I see myself trying to temper the blow and I find myself saying things like

"Don't let her words get to you."

I really believe we should not allow ourselves to become prisoners of the ignorance, hate,or fears of others. However, there is only so much that we can do. I can tell someone not to be hurt by the words of another, but that's easier said than done, especially when I am not the one who has been afflicted. All I can really do is help dress their wounds and that's what I have been trying to do.

All this thought on words has me considering the words I use on a daily basis. Am I tearing people down when I mean nothing more than jest? Maybe that's not such a bad thing for me to do: to reconsider the words I use. When people use words as weapons they are usually declaring an all out war of words. As children we had this line in our arsenal:

"I'm rubber and you're glue, so whatever you say bounces off me and sticks back on you."

If only the pain inflicted with words could that easily be assauged.

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