How Much Do I Love Thee?

I remember as a child comparing with my siblings and friends the "amount" of love we had. There were rare occasions where we would argue our love for a particular individual, but usually we were talking about who loved peanut butter sandwiches or Nintendo or cartoons more. These conversations were so serious at the time, but would end with us dissolving in laughter.....or yelling so loud that our parents had to come in and quiet us down.

Years have passed and I would like to think that I have learned a little more about love since then. I now know that love cannot be measured in measuring cups or buckets or however I thought that love was measured as a child. I still remember one of my favourite films (Who framed Roger Rabbit) in which Roger Rabbit writes a letter to his love and he asks "how much do I love you? let me count the ways." He then proceeds to begin counting as he jumps up and down on a bed...and continues counting.


So love isn't measured in cups,feet, miles or how high you can recite your numerics. Then how do you measure love? How do you know just how much you love someone? Or how much someone loves you?

I had my suspicions and they were confirmed tonight.

As I sat there and looked into the eyes of one that I already knew that I loved. We talked and I saw the tears filling those brown eyes and I then knew how you measure love.

It's an indescribable measurement, not found on any ruler or tape measurer. Even as I sit here and think on it I cannot put into the words how at that moment I knew that no matter what happened or what road this individual chose to take that I had finally experienced a love that I never thought I would. How do I describe the stabbing pain I felt in my chest at seeing those tears, how the walls began to close in on me, how I was short of breath and tried so hard not to let all this show? How at that moment I wanted nothing more than to internalize his pain and absolve it all within myself, to wipe it all away and make it better or that even at this moment while sitting in a crowded Starbucks that I'm starting to sniffle and tear up as I recount it all?

How much do I love thee?

So much that I would pull down every star from their place in the heavens, as cheesy as it would sound. So much so that I would swallow your pain and never once complain. To see you hurt tears at my heart, every fiber of my soul begins to tremble and ache at the painful journey that you were forced to embark upon and my own problems become so insignificant.

Yet, with all this I must face the reality that the end of your misery may be the end of the bond between you and me.

Although, I should hope that this may never be.

This is how one measures love.

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