Sitting in my car in the campus parking lot, thinking of the emotional day. Even with the highs there's some things that have brought me extremely low. I wanted to talk to someone but it's late. So I'm blogging because I don't think it would be safe for me to drive with all this going on in my head.
What do you do when your spirit tells you one thing and your head and your heart say another?
This internal conflict is gnawing at me and all I can do is sit in silence and walk in tears.
It's raining and I think it's very apropo.
Even my victories are shrouded in strain, even in confusion I feel the same.
Maybe I'm just really tired, but this anxiety has gone on for days.
It just hurts sometimes because I can see my detractors in the crowd. Some of them posing as my friends. Others are ready to cheer on my end.
It's 10:10. Where am I again?
I'm not stupid. Don't think that I don't get it.
Its you who do not understand and I think that hurts more than anything because I thought of everyone you would be the most understanding. I've always been so transparent. I've always been clear. I never lied about my intentions acknowledged my fears. Yet, there you go again lumping me in with everyone else. Blaming me, my insecurity.
But I'm not like everyone else. I'm not the same. And if you thing that then you don't know me and every things changed.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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